When I was born, I had a demure look on my face that had “royalty” written all over. I had chubby cheeks and gorgeous silky hair that made me the perfect princess . I kept my tryst with “royalty” intact by never wailing beyond the recommended decibels. I never made any noise when I was being breastfed; there was always an absolute silence in the room. I maintained utmost decency during my bathing routine and also, most of the times, was dressed in royal elegance. I slept with absolutely no waking up in the middle of the night, keeping my dignity intact. Ok stop, now whom am I kidding? I am sure you must have realised by now that I did nothing as mentioned above.
Instead, I was a terror the minute I was born. I had a “Who the hell pulled me out?” look when I was born. Yes, I did have chubby cheeks and a thick mat of black hair on my head which simply means that I looked exactly like other Indian babies, atleast 99% of them. I wailed so loudly that nurses, and on a later stage, family members would run into the room to see if I was being strangled by my mom for being such a terror. When I was being breastfed, I would go chomp-chomp and make funny noises that had the ability to disgust even a panda quietly feeding on a bamboo shoot. My bathing routine was filled with me peeing and pooping at the wrong time, at the wrong places, and on the wrong people. Coming to me being dressed in royal elegance, well, err, most of the times, it would be a piece of cloth just enough to cover my modesty. When I slept, I woke up every hour to make sure my parents never slept.
And you ask me why I’d be the perfect royal baby? Well, I have been the only kid my parents ever had and now it has been 27 years and I have managed to maintain the record. :p Yes, they had decided that they will handle only one royal terror all their lives.
By the way, all of you who use the “tongue out smiley” so often, please note that I was the inspiration behind it. So, guys and girls, pay me the royalty for using it so frequently everywhere. :p
*This post is written for That Tuesday Thingy, an initiative by IndiBlogeshwaris.