No one warned me about it. I wasn’t prepared for it. Yet, it happened and it happened very fast. My 8 week old, now, is a teenager!

Well, it all started at 6 weeks. There were warning signs, which I ignorantly ignored. I should have known. I should have prepared. But, I didn’t. It serves me right for having ignored the red flags.

When babies enter their 6th week, know that they have entered the teenage phase of babyhood. Seriously, there is a phase like that during babyhood that prepares you for the time when they are actual teenagers.

To prove my point, let me list out a few things that my baby does or does not do.

  • She refuses to go to sleep at night, and refuses to wake up in the morning. At night, though she doesn’t text her BFF as yet, she talks to the monster pictures (her BFF now) on the wall (don’t judge me, they are cute). In the morning, even if a volcano erupts besides her, she probably wouldn’t wake up, and when she does, it is exactly like the way amnesia patients wake up in the movies (Main kahan hoon? – Where am I? types).
  • She is ravenous even after a full feeding. 5 minutes of playtime leads to an hour of feeding time with constant fussing, which probably translates to her being tired after playing for 5 whole minutes!
  • She does the grossest of things. She farts and closes her nose as if we farted in her vicinity. The other day, at the pediatrician, my husband got weird looks, though it was her who farted loud enough to mimic an earthquake, and then innocently looked at her father as if he had committed the crime.
  • She throws tantrum when she doesn’t get what she wants within few seconds, and it is mostly food. And yes, there is biting involved for having made her wait for 2 seconds! The crocodile tears stop when she sees that her demands are going to be fulfilled.
  • She doesn’t listen to me and argues with me using baby babbles when I tell her to do something. That something mostly is restricted to: asking her to burp, asking her to stay still while changing her diaper, asking her not to poop and spit up at the same time.
  • She wants to dress the way she wants. No coats, or caps, or even pants! She loves spending the day in her bikinis aka diapers and will do so even on the coldest of days. I don’t care about skin show, but come on, it is so chilly now that I am afraid I will produce ice cream.
  • She has moved on from loving Itsy Bitsy Spider to loving 10 little Indian boys. Yeah, it is a rhyme, but I see our future in it. She is going to be a player.
  • Her likes and dislikes change every day. One day she likes taking a nap, and then the next day she hates naps. By the way, how can anyone hate naps? ?
  • She does craziest of things and blames us for it. Now, did we tell her to pull her hair and then scream at us for doing it? But, she does, and does it over and over again, proving the fact that she doesn’t listen to me.
  • She is growing up too fast and will soon be in college, or well, maybe in pre school. But, where did those tiny newborn hands and legs disappear?